A Mother's Journey

 " One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what what you went through and it will be someone else's survival guide".

                                                         Brene Brown

When I began to put pen to paper nearly 10 years ago, I had no idea I would write a book. In the beginning I blogged about what my journey as a parent of a teenager using drugs was like. It gave me comfort and solace to connnect with other parents in the blog world who were on similar journeys.

  https://walkingthroughaddiction.blogspot.com/2013/ 

Deep in my soul I knew I had a story to tell but I questioned if I was capable of actually writing a book. I was filled with fear on so many levels.

• Did I really want to go back and relive all that pain?
• This wasn't just my story, it was a family story. How would writing it affect my son?  How would my daughter and her family feel about my sharing our story?
• Was I ready to let the world in on the pain and heartache our family experienced as my son struggled to survive addiction?
• How could I ever put into words the transformation our family experienced as each of us learned valuble life lessons of survival, love, and loss?
• Do I have the discipline to be an author?

Once I got the approval of my family, I began to write. 10 years later, I have a manuscript.

With great fear and trepidation I sent it off to 5 Beta Readers. It was scary. I can't tell you how many times in the past 10 years I doubted myself. "Who am I to write a book" I would ask. There were days when the pain was too much and I had to step away but something always pulled me back. Waiting for the responses from Beta Readers was difficult. 

James was the first to assure me that I indeed had a story to tell. 

 "As heartbreaking as I'm sure many of these memories are, I am positive your story will provide comfort, wisdom and hope to other parents facing similar struggles with their children. I was moved by how intertwined your own struggle became with your son's substance abuse battle. Yet even when things seemed the most hopeless, your steadfast love and faith remained a guiding light, helping you take things one day at a time. Your story is absolutely a powerful testament to the resiliency of a mother's love."

Eileen wrote;

"I remember reading that Nathan believed if this book helped even one person, that you should write it. I really think that this is something that could help a lot more than just a single person. I know that I will never look at my relationship with my sister in the same light after reading this. It really was beautiful."

Lara wrote:

"You write emotion BRILLIANTLY. 

When you do a scene/chapter well, you do it really well!"

Their words were the impetus I needed to keep going. Today I know that I can do hard things. That I am a writer and I do have a story to tell. Life gives us lessons every single day. We get to choose what we will do with them. I am choosing to share mine in hopes that my story will offer hope and encouragement to others who are struggling. 

That is what keeps me going. Writing does take discipline and there are many days I don't feel like writing but I believe I am creating something that needs to be shared. Thanks to the love and support of my friends and family I can finally see the finish line.