Human Doing vs Human Being

There was a time when I was a human doing instead of a human being.

The minute I woke up each morning, I jumped out of bed and immediately began checking things off my list.

• Pack the school lunches.
• Put the clothes in the dryer.
• Make a note to call the dentist.
• Wake up the children.
• Make breakfast.

And that was only the beginning.

There was always somewhere to be, something to clean, someone who needed me, or another problem to solve. My days were driven by the next thing demanding my attention. I believed my worth was measured by how much I accomplished and by how well I took care of everyone around me. Slowing down never felt like an option. When I look back now, I feel a little sad for my children.The mother they experienced as children is not the woman I am today. 

Life has taught me the importance of slowing down. Everything is not a crisis, and not everything needs my immediate attention. Over the years I have discovered that the way I begin my morning shapes the way I experience the rest of my day.

Today, my mornings look very different.

Instead of rushing into the day, I go straight to my meditation corner. Before I do anything else, I spend a few quiet moments with my Higher Power, thanking Him for the many gifts in my life. Then I read from my daily Al-Anon readers. Without fail, I receive a thought or inspiration that invites me to pause, reflect, write, or create a piece of art that becomes my guide for the day.

Recently, I wrote these words:

"My life is my work, and I can accomplish it in partnership with my Higher Power."

That simple sentence reminded me of something I spent years forgetting: my purpose is not to manage everyone else's life. My first purpose is becoming the healthist version of myself.  I can't give away what I don't possess. Peace and serenity begin with me.  

For much of my life, I believed taking care of myself was selfish. I thought being a good wife and mother meant putting everyone else's needs ahead of my own. But I've learned something very different.

When I care for my own spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being, I become a calmer wife, a more present mother, and a more compassionate friend. The greatest gift I can give the people I love is not my constant doing—it is my peaceful presence.

Today, my first responsibility is to myself. Not because I matter more than anyone else, but because when I am grounded, connected, and at peace, I have so much more to give.

I've finally discovered the difference between a life spent doing and a life fully lived by being.